Maybe I am a sore loser with a bad case of Mondayitis

One of the most difficult things in my line of work is losing a large, high-profile deal (or more in one day, if you are really unlucky) at the finish line. Those who like competition live for those moments, and get a euphoric rush from photo finishes. But it is devastatingly depressing when you come in second.

Today was one of those days. We lost two large high-profile deals today (any wonder why Monday is the most depressing day of the week?) and the mood was predictably down. One of them we sort of expected to lose anyway - it was far too large for our balance sheet, the international banks had the upper hand (the clients clearly said so), and the PE firms we were supporting weren't even sure they would like to stay in the hunt. Eventually they decided it was not profitable enough for them, backing out over the weekend, leaving all leveraged finance houses bidding for the lead arranger rights deflated.

To me, that is a perfectly acceptable - it is the nature of the business. The first imperative is to make the investment worth it, not how the banks feel about all the hours they put in. After all, the PE firms also worked hard (moreso than the banks), it is their equity and reputation, so they call the shots. They communicated their intentions clearly and openly, and conducted themselves well during the deal.

The second loss, however, was not. It has been a six-month long slog, having gone through numerous permutations, and at each turn the two competing banks were pitted mercilessly against each other. Competition I can handle. Wait, let me clarify - FAIR competition, I can handle. In an attempt to short-circuit the long-running saga and get to a decision (whether in our favour or not), we at one stage asked what the other firm was offering and we will match it if we could. We were told that it was not going to happen - but apparently, from what we can gather from reliable sources (and what we can logically gather from market developments), it did.

I get it - business is a competition, and had we been in the shoes of the other firm, we too would take advantage of the leg up. I also do not have a problem with the client shopping around - I would act the same way in their shoes. What I would NOT do, however, is tell one firm "hey, I won't give you a leg up by showing you the other firm's offer, it would be unfair to them and totally anti-Confucian in nature"... then turning around and DOING EXACTLY WHAT I SAID I WOULD NOT DO. I also would not go and keep the firm in limbo, when I had already made my choice. I would also not wait until the deal is practically public knowledge before giving notice of the decision.

This is the ugly side of dealmaking. Perhaps I am still a little naive, thinking that business can still be done within gentlemanly (or gentlewomanly) conduct. But seriously, what is wrong with acting with a bit of decorum? Who exactly loses out by doing business as if your word IS your bond? Isn't this fundamental to how our markets work?